My Ode - To my Soft, Curly Tresses too Wayward to Stay Pinned

If you didn't get the reference... A certain corny "Christian novel" author always wrote about girls bemoaning having hair that fit my title. So dumb. I would be shocked if any girl identified. :p

Rabbit trail over.

My hair. This is an ode to my hair. 

I'm not being sarcastic. I'm not joking. 

I'm pretty devastated.

And I've entered a period of mourning.

For my hair.

I'm grieving.

I'm sorrowing.

I'm experiencing loss.

Loss of my curly hair.

Oh, my beloved curly hair.

Vain, shallow, dramatic? 

Maybe, but nah.

I loved my hair.

I guess my hormones are at an all time weird. After carrying my two sons, my curls are going away. I started noticing it soon after Joel was born. I've been in denial. But now I know. I'm not just having endless bad hair days - although it is bad. ;) My hair is changing, and I don't know what to do with it. 

Oh, my curls.

I appreciated you. 

I loved you.

My family loved you.

My husband loved you.

From before we were together and every day since.

Stephen never failed to adore, compliment and admire my curly hair.

They say girls with curls just want straight hair. Nope. Not me.

Hair, 

I appreciated you. Every day. I was thankful for you. Every day. I knew how to take care of you, and loved to teach Caleb how to play with each lock oh, so, gently. "Boing" was one of his first words.

You were an integral part of my identity and the perfect expression of my personality. 

And now what? I don't even know you anymore. And I certainly don't know myself. How do I deal with the strangely partially curly but mostly straight strands of brown? How do I express my identity without totally overcompensating due to the lack of my curls? And will my ringlets ever come back?

I'm so sad. But now I need to figure out how to appreciate and be thankful for the weirdness left behind. 

My ode to my perfect ringlets now, is done.

Meeting the Pacific

An Item on my bucket list has been to introduce my babies to the ocean. Seeing Caleb's eyes wide with wonder and appreciation was dear, dear, dear to my heart. Don't worry, Pacific; we'll be back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

Why Church Unity and Christ's Sacrifice Pales in Comparison

To begin with a caveat: I'm sure these thoughts are neither clever or original.

So, then...

I think in Christian circles, it is commonly recognized that comparing your blessings with another person's is entirely unhelpful and dangerous. Comparing your blessings to others leads to jealousy, dissatisfaction with what the Lord has provided, and ultimately unbelief that the Lord knows what He's doing. But, something I've been thinking of lately is how dangerous it is to compare one's HARDSHIPS with another person's. 

Jesus died, ransomed the lost, and brought a multitude of His image-bearers together as one. By paying the ultimate price (enduring the greatest hardship of history), He created a single bride for himself - the church. 

"Behold, how good and pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1) 

Comparing hardships is just too easy. Sometimes we use it as a tool to bring comfort to ourselves. "I'm going thru something hard - but they are going thru something much worse, so I can't complain." And sometimes we use comparing to help others know our pain is greater. "Yeah, you've experienced hardship, but _, _, and _ never happened to you. So you can't truly understand how I feel."

This is the danger I see: In both those examples, the result isolates. If your problem isn't as difficult as someone else's then you are in a boat all by yourself. And if no one's pain is as great as your own - you are also in a boat alone.  

A benefit of being in Christ's body is the binding fellowship that we enjoy. Comparing hardships only serves to isolate us from other believers. It limits the encouragement we recieve, and the comfort we find in God's people. It inhibits the way we encourage others and makes us believe that we couldn't possibly offer support in the right way.  Comparing difficulties puts each person in their own box, thus diminishing the unity of the church - a Body that should be ONE.

What's more, comparing trials ultimatly casts a shadow on Christ's work. He is the only one in a box by himself. His life + pain + death + victory can never be equaled. He endured all, lovingly and humble - and a supreme blessing from Him is that His church is never alone again. Yes, we have each other - bound eternally together as one people. But we also have HIM. In the midst of our pain, He is there. Thru the trials, difficulties and hardships - HE IS THERE. 

Attempting to isolate ourselves in the midst of difficulty is anti-redemption and anti-Christian. It displays dissatisfaction in how our Lord chose to bring us comfort, and unbelief that God chose best. 

Whatever the difficulty is: Physical trouble, spiritual trouble, circumstances, accidents, events - I don't want to compare hardships in my life with anyone else's experience. Instead, I want to show faith and thankfulness that the Lord is with me and I want to take comfort in His people. The people that God graciously redeemed that we might be one - even as Jesus and the Father are One (John 17).

...

Does any of that make sense?

Day in the Life - 18 Month Story

I treasure. I let moments, memories, and tastes create indelible grooves in my soul. That sounds cheesy; but I find myself closing my eyes and and putting in my mental treasure box the sounds, feelings and tastes of a moment. Maybe its the bite of the BEST chocolate chip cookie ever. Looking out the window on Gwendola on my 8th birthday. The way my infant's cheek felt on my shoulder. The way I felt when Stephen hugged me for the first time (at the altar I might add.) I can go back and remember specific moments that I've put in my treasure box, and I thank the Lord OOOOOOFFFTEN for the gift of memory.

Before we are blessed with the arrival of Joel Benjamin in a few days, I wanted to create tangible memories for Caleb. Memories of these last days of just us. The quiet or silly-loud happy times of him and me. He won't remember life without Joel, so I did my first "Day in the Life" photography project attempting to document special things in our routine day.

Dearest Caleb, I missed some pictures. I missed an ice party, an absolute tickle fest on the bed, our HILARIOUS mid-morning giggle session. I missed the picture where I wiped your tear, when you asked to smell my coffee, and so many more sweet moments. Dear Son, I have treasured every day with you, and walking forward I will treasure every day with you AND your miraculously-God-given brother. Thank you for being my sweetest first born; I can't wait to see what a wonderful big brother you will be. 

Much Love Always, 

your Mommy.